I was duped. I knew better. I had a gut feeling about Hokum that I ignored.
There were signs.
The first sign was the actor Adam Scott. Scott, who I had only really known from “Parks and Recreation,” did not seem like the type of serious actor that could carry a horror movie. I also hadn’t seen "Severance" which everyone gushes about. That being said, I just knew that it would be bad based on his casting. His acting is mid at best. Be honest.
The second was the amount of gushing reviews I had read before I saw this movie. Every review I could find that didn’t contain spoilers said this movie was incredible. That it earned the jump scares. One of the best of the year…so on and so forth. Against my better judgement I put faith in reviews again. So much so that I invited one of my most cynical friends with me to the movies in order that we would see a movie together that we might actually enjoy for once. I was so embarrassed at not only how bad the movie was, but that I invited a friend and that I sold him on the movie being good. What I should have done is hope for the best but expected the worst.
As Han Solo states in the Death Star garbage compactor: “It’s worse.”
First I would like to address the trailer. A work of art that thing. Whoever made the trailer should win some kind of award for how incredibly well edited and creepy it made this movie look. I was so sold to the point where I hated seeing the trailer in the theater. I would say this is the case for all of director Damien McCarthy’s movies. Both “Oddity” and “Caveat” also have incredible trailers that perfectly sell the movie. I have not seen either of them so they might be hot garbage but the trailers perfectly capture the high tension and suspense that many good horror movies do so well.
So where did this film go wrong?
Let’s start with the protagonist. Adam Scott plays a boozed up famous author Ohm Bauman who is struggling to finish his magnum opus. Some story about a conquistador that is seeking an ancient relic. The film sort of starts here and we are introduced to Ohm as he is writing this book and the film intercuts him writing in the dark with this conquistador story. It’s a strong start honestly and hooks you in. But the longer we spend with Ohm, the more we realize that he is an unrelenting dickhead.
There really is no narrative reason for him to be this much of a twat really. In one scene, the bell hop at the hotel he is staying at asks if Ohm could read his manuscript, Ohm then proceeds to put a spoon in a candle while the bell hop is talking to him, he pulls out the spoon and uses it to burn the bellhop’s hand. Then Ohm says something gruff like “don’t meet your heroes” as the bellhop whimpers off screen. I bring this up because you can have a movie where the protagonist is unlikeable, but in horror you do need someone to sort of root for. But the film gives him no redeeming qualities. We just watch this piece of shit wander around and get haunted. I was actively rooting for him to get murdered, haunted, possessed - what the fuck ever. Just something to make him realize that he is a gigantic asshole.
By the end of the film, nothing is gained, nothing is learned, nothing has changed. Just another adventure in the life of this fuckhead. I was honestly hoping for a post credits scene where he apologizes to someone, anyone, for being this big of a bag of suck.
The plot of “Hokum” really revolves around this haunted hotel and mysterious disappearances that have happened there. The marketing makes you think it’s about a witch. It is kind of. The witch is mostly an afterthought and really the least interesting thing in this film. But they have to name the movie something. It can’t be called “Drunk Douchebag.”
Ohm apparently has parents that spent a night at this hotel and in the honeymoon suite no less, and it’s haunted now.
Why? I don’t know.
Ohm wants to spread his parent’s ashes somewhere around there. The movie uses Ohm’s dead mom as a narrative device and there is trauma there, but you don’t care cause he’s an asshole.
Great - a terrible person has their trauma resolved. Yippy-skippy.
Ohm wants to see the honeymoon suite but it’s closed. Ohm really has boundary issues and doesn’t like to hear the word “No.” This is a big point of contention in the film because something bad happened in the honeymoon suite. It’s supposed to be haunted by a witch so they keep it closed.
Why is it haunted by a witch? Don’t know. The witch likes room service.
How does the witch get sustenance? Don’t know. Protein souls?
There is a lot of “just go with it” in this film.
Of course, at some point in the movie Ohm is going to get into the honeymoon suite. Duh. I honestly did not mind the murder mystery plot. It had intrigue. But Ohm gets trapped in the honeymoon suite and most of the film feels like you are watching an unlikeable person drunkenly stumble through an escape room. Ohm picks apart the room for clues and tools to move to the next area. I mean, imagine if you were trapped in room 237 from “The Shining” and you had to spend a night in there. Eventually, the ghost/demon/whatever would run out of tricks to pull on you and you would be bored. At one point in the film, there is a scare involving a television turning on in the honeymoon suite. I was like “Holy Shit! He could have been watching TV the whole time? Dude lets fire up the Roku!”
It did seem disjointed like Damien McCarthy wanted to make two different films but couldn’t really decide which one so he smushed them together. On one hand you have a murder mystery at this creaky motel, and then on the other hand the director really liked Robert Egger’s “The Witch” and wanted to do that too. In reality, it would have been better if they were two different films because the witch thing seemed really tacked on and unnecessary. Again, gotta name the movie something cool. Can’t name the movie “Drunk asshole solves escape room.”
The movie keeps hinting at this folklore, at this witch, at something bigger and Lovecraftian. But it just doesn’t really pull it off. You really learn nothing of the folklore, nothing of why there might be a witch, and nothing about pagan rites or rituals that may stop any of this. At one point in the film Ohm draws a chalk circle around himself. Doesn’t say an incantation, doesn’t light a candle or burn sage. No established background in sorcery or ritual magic. Just draws a half-assed chalk circle for protection.
Ah if it was just that simple.
“Hokum” is really a murder mystery disguised and marketed as a supernatural thriller. It reminded me a lot of the Alex Garland movie “Men.” Wherein a woman takes a trip to the Scottish countryside to stay at an inn also shortly after some family trauma. The inn also has a dark secret and there is also some folklore that is hinted at but never fully explained or realized. Basically, gender swap, and you have “Hokum.”
Oh spoiler: “Men” is weird and bad too.
I learned two things from watching “Hokum.” Being a dick is still totally cool. People will still totally help you out even though you have no redeeming qualities and because of that you will be able to come up with an ending to your stupid book series. The second thing I learned is: that a half-assed chalk circle is really powerful dude. Just go with it.